`2009`

ola ola..
mmhh..posting blog pertama apa yah...

well, sebelumna HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL..!!!!!
heheheh....
and 1st thing i did before it...diRAMAL pake TAROT sodara-sodara...setelah sebelumna harap-harap cemas, takut-takut, tarik nafas, hembuskan nafas *oups,kayana ada yang salah* akirna braniin deh menghadap penghulu *plak* tukang ramal dink, seorang wanita cantik berbaju hitam yang sexi, ah sudahlah tak perlu saia ceritakan, toh saia lebih manis dari dia **plak**...
jadi setelah prosesi lamar-melamar *beugh* ramal maksud saia...akhirna diperoleh kesimpulan, bahwa tahun depan **KISAH PERCINTAAN SAIA AKAN LEBIH BAIK** wakakaakaka okay, next is life **BANYAK TAWARAN PEKERJAAN** oups, sorry bos...most interesting is the fact bahwa saia memang **KURANG TEGAS** jiakakakaka *ngena banget nih* mmhh...so, yeah yang lain cencored ajah, what i have to do now is **LEBIH TEGAS** pada *KAMUH* **KAMUH** dan ***KAMUH*** grgrgrgrgrgr...

so, start from u..okay, this feeling is real and i dont how to prove it, but believe me..maybe im suck :) but its ok...God give this feling n i enjoy it ;) so..thank to u for giving this last month become great n wonderful...Love U, my sweet chocolate..

sekarang kamuh...mmhh, honestly speaking...ga tau harus ngomong apa lagi, but **GO AWAY FROM MY LIFE** :P and let me go..just let me alone...cos dunno, what will u do to interrupt me..my feeling for u is NOTHING..so keep out...Its Time to say Goodbye..

last..kamu...what u expect more..masih ga ngrti knapa kamu masih **memaksa** hadir dalam hidupku...mungkin, pernah ada saat kehadiranmu benar-benar berarti untukku..saat kamu benar-benar *melihatku* *menganggapku ada* terimakasih untuk semua yang kamu lakukan untukku...dan sekarang saatna kita berjalan sendiri...kamu dan keluarga kecilmu...aku dan diriku sendiri...[again] Goodbye for u..

And, for the travel i ll do *entah kapan dan kemana* hope it will be safe trip **kcuali seperti yang peramal bilang,its dangerous if we meet** jiaakakakaka

Dan, awal tahun ini pun, aku buka dengan [masih] berkutat dengan **PEMBUKUAN** wakakakaka..permulaan yang bagus bukan :P

So, for u all [again] *HAPPY NEW YEAR*

hiatus

hhmm....
maybe its the right time to left all..from all i have..
dunno when i ll be back...hope soon...

bye all

dumb

ya ya ya...
congrat..u succed make me real dumb..real idiot...
damn it...really hate myself now...

wish

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can’t help but wish that I was there
Back where I’d love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you

But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
’Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

There’s nothing here for me on this barren road
There’s no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can’t help but think of the times I’ve had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
’Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade…

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I’m not around,
when I’m much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
’Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

*playlist tonight*
**happy to hear your voice this noon, and know that u okay**

a thought...

cannt sleep tonight.dont know why,is it because of u or myself..hm...long night to think..sambil ber es em es ria dengan salah satu plurker gila wakakaakka he said my life seems to be interesting,is it?mmhhh..im not sure what its called..interesting or complicated huahahaha i dont even know what life for..all i know, i just want to make person i love..people i care..happy...

yeah,im questioning,have u slept already..or why dont u reply my message.lots of thought bout u,i admitt it...but [like u always said] who care with it...im just nobody,no one.and maybe im just wasting time here,waiting for something that [maybe] i will never get,but somehow..stay here is like challenging myself,how deep this feeling,is it fake or not..and yeah,its not about who win or lose.i love u anyway,dont care u feel the same or not..i just try to be honest with what i feel...

listening Jason Mraz making me missing u more then ever,but i only can keep this feeling by myself, cos i know u will never say it even u feel it...




*if u dont mind,if it isnt bother u,if u do care with me let me know then*
**to crazy plurker there,thanks for accompany me in my messy feeling,lets play the game dude**

d.o.u.b.t

hmm.....
karena ragu..pernah mencoba meninggalkanmu, membohongi hati dan perasaan sendiri. terlalu takut sakit hati. karena ragu pernah mencoba berpaling, yang ternyata itu tak mungkin. rasa ada tanpa diduga, tanpa bisa ditakar, tak berkurang namun bertambah. mungkin kamu bilang aku gila *indeed* atau buta [karena cinta] *plak* ....but, thats me..whatever will be, will be...
i ve decide to fight for u..cos this feeling is true. of course, im afraid of getting refusal, but we ll never know till we try, right? and i wish the best for u..is the best for us...
maybe u have ur own frighten, so do i..but be sure, im here with this feeling...for u..




*be ready,im coming*

HOW COULD U...!!!

today i just found new fact that really shock me..this guy, who said love me and care with me, annoyed me with anonym message that could brought heart attack to me.
well, yeah..maybe im wrong, we just broke up last two weeks, but it cannt be reason to do that..
i ll tell u the story, he knew my secret, and he [must be] knew how im react about that thing.he sent me message bout what im frighten,and DIDNT admitted it.and when i told him, someone just sent me bad message,he asked and PRETEND to care what i felt.Damn...!!!
and then i put this stranger number to my diary and someone [thanks to him] help me to find out who s number is. And guess what, it his number, my ex boy friend that pretend still love me, still care with me, but he DID that.he used other number to scare me..WHAT THE F**K!!can u imagine how i feel.and when i asked it, he didnt admitt it.still pretend its not him..Gosh..!!okay, u hate me, just do some revenge if u want..but u know what,it means nothing, and somehow i feel lucky we re broke up...and i feel soooooooooo lucky to have good people around me..u r wrong if u think that will make us back just because im frightened..i just wonder how could u...


[u dont know me yet,dont even dare to mess up with me]